Time Change... People Change...

I hated it when I first heard it from someone.... "Time change, People Change..." because I never believed in it.... I have always felt people change because of circumstances or may be with their own choices or may be because of the other people's behavior...  and never agreed on this line....

But after certain experiences I have realized it is somewhere true... Yes... people do change when time is changed... because in the meanwhile so many things happen which make them change...

But apart from that...
I hate it when people change... and you still hold the same feelings for them....
I hate it when people change... because they don't find you that interesting anymore...
I hate it when people change... because they find new people in their life...
I hate it when people change... because they grow in their life and gain that extra over confidence towards life about they can achieve anything....
I hate it when people change... because they misunderstand you in many situation and make their own assumptions...

So many reasons, so many situations.... but is it really required to change....???

I know change is the only thing which is inevitable... all those reasons which hurt others because of your stupid change in life... it feels bad ... really bad when people close to you change.... and you just don't understand the reason behind it... you feel miserable, lost, hurt, guilty,.... what not...??!!!

And you can't even blame them and you just end up blaming yourself.... what ..??? For no good reason..??? Because you have no clue what is happening... or what has happened..???

I really love the changes in life... though it is a change of place or a new hair style or new style of clothing or a new job or a new type of food or anything... but I don't like when.... "PEOPLE CHANGE..."

Home is where the people you love are....

I still remember the day 30th June 2012 when I first arrived here... It was early morning, I woke up from the sleep and saw outside the window of my flight to London Heathrow and I see the beautiful, aligned, well architectural, green city which is known to be one of the best cities for shopping... (LOL.. this is the first thing I have Google it when I came to know I am flying to UK)... 

Weather supported that day and I was lucky to see Beautiful view of London City with clear sky and rainbow in it.... I can never forget that first view of London city from the flight.... one of my most beautiful memories...

After all the check out procedure I came out and felt the chilly weather of UK... It was suppose to be summer in UK but it just felt like Winter to me... I kept my huge luggage in car and started my journey from London Heathrow to Swindon... I was amused by the beauty of the nature around the Motorway... It felt like some dream come true... Whatever I had seen in movies and on television I was actually viewing all that... and within an hours time we reached Swindon... a small, quite, beautiful town... Every thing looked so unfamiliar to me... I was little afraid about how things are going to be here? But same time I was quite relaxed as I knew Snigdha is already here. She can help me in settling down quickly...

And there we crossed quite a few small, big, curvy, straight lanes and roads, up hills and down hills and finally I reached my destination... Old Town of Swindon...  I got out of the car and saw plenty of shops and bars around the street... It was lovely sunny morning.... Snigdha came out the white door and hugged me.. I was all blank... We some how managed to pull my luggage to our house at 1st floor... I really loved the house... nice and warm... I had already fallen in love with it... and the way snigdha had kept it... I loved it even more...

Withing few hours we unpacked my luggage and I was all set in this beautiful house in Old Town...It's almost been 6 months now and today it's my last day in this beautiful house.... Snigdha has already left but it's me all on my own struggling to get things sorted with leaving the apartment formalities... and moving to new house.....

But I look back at this house and see all the memories attached with it... and best thing is... I see all the good memories.... :-) What could be better than this...??!!! I am leaving a house with beautiful memories... 

I have always felt a kind of attachment with the places I have stayed in and this place is one of those places... I understand that I haven't spent considerable time in this apartment but whatever time I have spent here.. it had been great.... Though it's our small late night parties or Jammu's leaving do or my 30th B'day or Sniggy's b'day or may it sniggy's parents visit to UK, etc.... endless lovely events had happened in this place... and all those people and their sweet presence made this house feel like a HOME for Me and Snigdha...

I feel glad to leave this Home with such happiness and no negativity... I have always felt some kind of positive vibes in this house...It has always felt home to me and Snigdha... I wish my new house brings a better Positive feeling and better experiences in my life... :-)

Change for life....

It's been quite a while and I haven't posted anything on my blog... I usually write to put my thoughts and its pretty strange that I am not writing anything.... that definitely means I am not thinking much and I am at ease... :-) good for me... My brain does need some rest... isn't it..??? or my heart does...?? not sure from where my thoughts come from....!!??

Today, it is going to be a month my bestie left for India. Initial days had been tough for me... all the crying, moaning about things I was unable to do without her, doing things alone, finding this big home empty without her... but slowly I got used to it... I definitely knew that I'm gonna be fine... but my silly heart didn't want to understand the fact...

One thing I have learnt in life with loads of experiences.. good or bad, given by various people... again good or bad... that life doesn't stop because of anyone. Some people leave by choice and some by no choice.... and we feel devastated with the absence of those people... but we keep moving ahead in life. We learn to live life without those people who used to be such an important part of our life... 

Life keeps moving...  new people.... new situations... new places... and I feel change is for good... or else life would become so boring... :-) and I am glad that I have learnt to live with change... I would rather say it like this... "I have started enjoying change in my life...."

Life is full of surprises... so why not live all the moments... Current and which are yet to come.... !!! Past has gone... and things happened in past had a reason for it to happen.... Like it is said... and my strong believe in this saying... "Everything happens for a reason... and if it is not happening as per your wish or on time... wait... and you will have better things in your kitty... :-)" 

So here I am enjoying life to the fullest.... doing things I like to do, enjoying my freedom, my single hood, learning lessons of life, not worrying about future, loving each moment....and loving Myself.... :-)

The Little Mermaid....

There was a princess of that fairy tale world where everything used to be so beautiful and good... That innocence in her used to make her think all the people around her are so nice... and She loves them all...Everyone loved her and pampered her like a beautiful princess...who was cute, innocent, loving, caring, believed in giving and sharing, who was pampered but still her feet were on ground, who was beautiful yet unaware of her outer and inner beauty... Everything she wished was fulfilled... Always protected, taken care by others... and who had never seen the reality of this world....LIFE was beautiful for her...

Princess grew up. She found a Prince Charming... But her parents were not ready for her to marry him. She didn't listen to them and she married prince against her parents wish. They started to live happily. Princess used to think... as now I have found man of my dream and married him it is going to be a Life like "They lived happily ever after..." and absolutely unaware of the storm coming towards her life.... And there was a day she realized her prince doesn't think that she is his Princess any more.. 

All of sudden Princess was the most ugliest looking girl on this earth for the Prince. He was ashamed of her, he hated everything about her.  He found all the possible flaws in her and started to yell at her for small small things... Prince had found some other princess and princess was left all alone. Princess tried her lever best to get their life back on track. But nothing was working. Days passed Prince's behavior started to changed, he became abusive with her, still she was tolerating everything as she had a hope that someday he will change. Her LOVE will change him... She spent years and years waiting for him to change. Tried doing all those things on this earth to make him happy, to make him fall in love with her again. But all her efforts were in vain.... she was dishearten... 

She used cry to her bed... she couldn't tell anyone the bad behavior of Prince. For her it was a matter Prince's image. She tried to maintain his image and bared all the pain he was giving her. (She was a fool)...

She used to look at god and ask .. "Why me God???... I have never done any bad to anyone in my entire life... then why ME....???" But she never got answer..... Slowly with time, she stopped crying and started to become a strong person... She was able to take care of her... She was becoming bold to handle situation and people around her...She worked hard to gain her confidence back...She stood for her... She was determined... she wanted to survive....

And one day she decided she does not want to take all this pain any more... and she left Prince...

Now, she was a new strong, confident, determined, smart, beautiful princess who was living her life on her terms.... with happiness which she used to find in small small things around her... She thought now she will be able to live her life happily, she had enough suffering in her past... She was positive and open about life. Accepting the way it comes. Giving tough time to challenges, she was moving forward....like there is not tomorrow....

But life wasn't easy for her... She knew she has to start a life from scratch and she was positive and open towards life.... with "TRY ME..." attitude... People around her started to look at her in different way... because she left her Prince... she was no more a normal Princess like others.... People talked all the possible bad things about her...Women bitched about her (may be in jealousy.) and Men did all the possible things a loser can do... But all these thing didn't affect her and rather makes her more strong and positive towards life... She though that God wants her to become more stronger. She was yet to learn her lessons...She was still smiling......

This princess.... standing strong, motivated, positive about life, determined....wants to tell all those people who talks about her that... 

"You have not lived my LIFE... and it is very easy to talk about others or gossip... When you are actually in the situation.. you are truly tested.... And I am tested.... I have gone through all those things which no one could have even imagined... And I wish that all those people who talk about me never gets into a situation where they have to suffer the way I had...

Don't Judge me by my Past... know me and then TALK...Your talks doesn't affect me but it makes me smile and I think ..."Wow, people have so much time to think and discuss about me... I should feel like a celebrity... People will talk about celebrities... good or bad... but they are FAMOUS..." So here, I thank god for making me ME... making me a CELEBRITY... :-)"

Sister Friend, Friend Sister... :-)

I am walking on wood street, heading towards home and thinking how it is going to be when I reach home. Our home without YOU. It is not that you have always been at home when I reached but I knew that in time you will be home. But today things are different, you have left this place and on your way to India. I know you don't want to go but even I don't want you to go but somethings are just not in our hands.

When I entered home, I smiled by looking at kitchen platform. I know how much you hate keeping kitchen dirty and you cleaned while leaving also. :-) But felt bad as in so much hurry you did all that stupid cleaning work. Entered further in dining area and saw your left luggage which made me little sad. As usual didn't feel like going to drawing room and directly went upstairs to our bedroom. It is the same place, everything is same at its usual place but your stuff is not there and you are not there. I am standing in the room  and thinking what to do? Shall I go down and eat something or shall I call any friend and talk? I do neither of it. I sat on the corner of the bed and played the song "Count on me", went near stairs and sat down. Looked downstairs, saw your birthday balloons and couldn't stop crying. The only thought in mind and heart why you are not here...

All the times spent together starts to run in front of me.. House is in such a mess but I don't feel like cleaning because I know even if I clean... you will be not come to see the surprise of cleaned house. I need to set my wardrobe but who will do it for me? Here I am sitting at my usual place and thinking of the time spent with you. How much you used to get irritated with my keyboard typing and you used to ask me "Suza please go downstairs and do it." And I used to keep on telling you just minutes and I will be done and I will spend hour sitting there, typing and irritating you... :-) I still remember the mornings when you used to play some irritating love songs and I used to feel like throwing away your laptop.. :-)

Lying in the bed and thinking of all those crazy photo session we used to do and planing of what to wear next day... Our crazy dress trials, that funny Hindi movie dance, those workouts in kitchen, that sudden wine and dine plans, that endless shopping spree, thinking of the same thing at a same time, deciding each others clothes, treating each other like baby and many more endless things we used to do together.....

I miss all...I miss your free ka tip... :-), I miss your scolding, I miss your pasta, I miss our beauty treatments, I miss that moment when we both want to tell other something but both are scared of each other that she will scold me.. :-)

The same house is looking so empty, quite, sad without you... I know I will get used to things and situation... But You will always be in my mind all the time... Loads of people are around me but no one fills the space of yours... My sister friend, friend sister.... :-)

Come back soon....!!!!

Live the moment...

At a time you will be in a very confusing state of mind.... you will not understand what exactly going on in your thoughts... Loads and loads of things running around your mind but you are constantly thinking about one particular thing, which makes you smile and makes you sad at a same time...

You really want to live that thought in real but you just stop yourself from living it.
Why???!!! ...
May be you are not sure if you want to live that thought?
May be you think that thought is just an illusion?
May be you are confused in your own thoughts?
Or probably you see pros and cons of that thought and stop yourself?
Or may be you are scared to live that thought?

Reason could be anything or all the things... But apart from all these reasons you just want to live this thought... You want to free yourself from everything... forget the illusion, confusion, pros and cons, assurance... and live it.... Live the thought, live the dream, live the every moment you have... if you start thinking about all these measurable / non-measurable reasons... you will be never able to live a life which makes you happy.... and stopping yourself from doing this will surely make others happy but what about your own happiness...??? I feel if a person is happy with himself / herself... he/she can make others more happy.....

A thought worth thinking.... I don't say don't think about anything or anyone and do what you want to..??!!! But all I want to say is...

"LIVE the MOMENT you have right now with you... may be you don't get it ever again and at the end you just regret for not living that particular moment..."

Smile doesn't cost a thing... :-)

Every day I travel from Swindon to Reading and back from Reading to Swindon. Its a tiring (even if I am just sitting in the cab and doing nothing), boring 1 or 1 and half hours journey, depends on the traffic on motorway. 

Its not that I don't enjoy this daily one hour journey... I do... as in I do like watching change of weather, the nature around, the traffic, the people on their way to work, some talking over phone, some listening to music, some kinda lazy and sleepy... Sometimes I get to see Sun... that sun shine coming over in this chilly weather feels so good...I listen to my favorite music, chat a bit with friends, talk to mom....that makes me pass my time during the journey....

On some days journey is way to boring... I will not feel like looking at the beautiful nature or talking over phone, or listening to music or do any damn thing....

But every day when I reach to Main gate of Microsoft, there is a security guard standing at the gate.. checking all the vehicles and employees entering the gate. You will think what is so great about security standing and checking the people entering to Microsoft premises..??!!! But the best thing about this man is, despite from what kind of whether it is, its raining or snowing, its windy or sunny... if temperature is 1 degree or more than 25 degrees... He is standing there with the lovely smile on his face, great enthusiasm to welcome people and showing that thumbs up with that cute smile approving their entrance in the premises...

This really makes me smile every time I see him.. All that tiredness, laziness I have in the morning just vanishes... It is so impressive the way this security guard performs his role with all his heart and brain in to it. 

It is probably a small thing to see at but a very big thing to learn from..... This man makes me learn that keep smiling and without expecting or hoping to receive anything... give that beautiful smile to people because smile doesn't cost you any thing and it will rather make others smile for you. 

I hate to say Good Bye...

I feel every time I write something it always runs around people... Mostly people around me... What I am going to write is suggested by a friend... I mean I wanted to write but I was kinda blank... was not able to think what to write... it happens.. isn't it...?? :-)

The best phase of any relationship is when we meet people, when we have just started to know them. It's different... loads of curiosity to know the other person... it could be any person, a friend or someone who might like or love... and the moment you realize that there is something which is bonding us... we unknowingly become comfortable with that person who used to be a strange for us at some point of time...

But the worst phase is .... to apart from people... specially those whom we really love a lot....or people who are close to our heart... It is such a sad feeling when people are going away...at least I don't like it... There will be always hope to meet them again... but Good byes do make me really upset... I mean we become so used to people... they become such an important part of our life and then they just have to go away from us... and then you just keep on missing them....this is so unfair....

and it is time for me to say good bye to my "Sister Friend" ..."Friend Sister"... :-( I know I will be meeting her soon in few months... but the thought of she leaving makes me upset... I will be missing her so much..


Simply beautiful lines-
we meet to create memories
&
we depart to preserve them..
to meet & depart is way of life..
but to depart & meet is hope of life..

Thoughts running around...

Sometimes in life we meet few people, we might not even notice them. Somehow we definitely start knowing them in person but may be haven't even thought that those people can be so important in your life. Due to situations, circumstances and may be with little efforts from them makes you know them more and more. And some people we find different from others even if they have not caught your attention at first but sometimes their interesting talks, sense of humor, witty nature... gets you so involved with them and they start to become a part of your life without even realizing the fact where it is leading...

In a smallest duration such people will make so much impact in your life and they are inseparable without knowing. Time flies, things look so good, everything seems so rosy and happy... And sometimes misunderstandings, expectations, ego, anger and such other things come in between... And all of a sudden, all that nice time spent together goes in vain... Things become so complicated between two people that explaining it to each other seems absolutely impossible. And people find the easiest solution for such issues is just stay away from each other even if they don't want to... Why??.... because our human ego is so much bigger than any other thing in this world that it ruins any good relationship two beautiful people hold...

I don't know whatever I have written here makes any sense or not... but if ever anyone has come across such situation they will definitely understand what exactly I am trying to say... Time doesn't stop for anyone... Those people will continue living their life, but somewhere in mind and heart thought about other person keep wondering. Even if one doesn't want to think about other person... It is strange... may be both are thinking about each other but will not show or may be pretend to be so happy without each other... Even if they happen to meet each other somewhere...people will pretend like they don't know each other... 

We humans are so complicated in life... and we love being like this... because more than anything else for us complexities are more important.... :-)

Seeing yourself from others Eyes...

Every individual has one particular view about themselves... about what they are? how they are? their looks? their career? their achievements in life? Or what they are capable of? And many more such things...


According to me...there are various types of people...


one kinds are those who exactly know what they are, what are their achievements are, where they are heading, what they deserve... Perfectly confident people.....



Another kind is people who are over confident about things around them... Or believe in self praising... Self appraised and self claimed great people... :-)



And one more kind is those people who are good at many things, they have achieved quite a few things, have almost everything but still lacking in confidence about everything they have and will constantly deprive themselves...



Well i can probably write about different such people i have come across in my lifetime... But here i am writing about myself... Trying to know myself, find myself, understand myself... Too much of I, me and myself... Isn't it???... But i feel each individual should know, find and understand themselves...



I feel I used to fall into last category of people... Who lack in confidence...


It does happen that due to some incidents in life you tend to become less confident.... I just forget what you are... and tend to behave as per others... what they want you to be.... you just change... rather you become a puppet and act as per others.... dress up as per others... your actions are not yours. your words are not yours...you are not just yourself.... and you are lost somewhere in someone else's world....


And I had become something like that... though confident at work but at personal front I was absolutely living someone else's life.... I had started to feel that I am the most ugliest looking girl on the earth.. who is fat, not at all smart, can't even communicate well with others... lack in English communication, don't even know how to cook, no fashion sense... and which I surely wasn't... :-)


I had really lost myself.... tried plenty of things to change my look to make someone else happy... but it was just not happening.... and I met few people (my colleagues or rather my very good friends from my first organisation) who made me realize what I am... they initiated to get me back to the life... to help me understand my worth...


and then on wards I just don't know how... I have always met so many good people... I was kinda lucky in life (Of course I met bad people also.. but no use of remembering them.. )... I learnt to know myself.... they helped me know what am I really... small small gestures or lines from those special people made me realize what I am...


Some people had really made me feel that beauty doesn't come with your physical statistic or how fair you are or how well do you communicate and blah blah blah... It comes from your inner beauty... your beauty is enhanced when you are beautiful by heart...


This is to all of them who help me be ME.... I don't know how to show gratitude to them... some of them I am not even in touch with them (For whatsoever reasons...)... Thank you to all those good people who helped me remain strong... and thanks to all those bad people I met in life because of them I am what I am today....

Complexities of life...

We all want our life to be simple... but we human being love to make it complex and then we will blame god that why my life is so complex... How does this complexity start from??? We misunderstand others (mostly people who are  close in your life) and others misunderstand us... and many other small small reasons plays an important role for creating such complexities in an individual's life...


And with all these complexities we adults behave in a very strange way and start stay away from each other and then stops talking gradually...  But when we were young and we used to have fight with those who are close to us in life... after some time we will forget everything ... smile and things are back to normal... that's childhood...so simple and happy.... But once we are grown ups, we think we are very mature now and can handle things very well and in all this we make things complex for ourselves...


There will be situations when we will come across those people who used to be a part of our life... and there would be so many thoughts going around in the mind...what they are up to? how they must be doing in life? are they happy? and what not...?? But there would a kind of discomfort (even though we used to be so comfortable with them some time in the past..)....


If sometimes we forget that we are not grown ups... probably life will become little simple for us....

Supriya...

Few lines defined by a really good friend for me and just can't stop myself from putting it here....and title suggested by him because he feels only one word can describe these line... :-)

Sometimes some stories do not have beginning. That’s what one of my

friend said to me once.

Yes, my dear, some stories do not have, but what doesn’t begin means

never happened. 

In my case. She just happened.

You do not meet her..she happens!

Have you seen a bright light piercing through eyes, you either blink 

and miss it, or you see its beautiful colors splashing all over you.

That’s like her.

You need to absorb her.

Ladies and gentleman..meet Supriya Shinde.. you don’t live friendship

with her, you live a dream.. a dream with its unusual dose of

adventures and nightmares, up and downs…but something you will

cherish!

The never ending battle between Heart and Mind...

Sometimes I have so many things running in my mind that will make myself only so confused about my own thoughts. I will want to prioritize my thoughts but it will be difficult because everything will be so important to me... it is crazy at a time but that is ME who is like this... :-)

Many a times there would be a tiff between a thoughts coming from mind and heart...I will want those thoughts coming from heart to win over thoughts coming from brain. And makes me think why do I have to choose in between heart and brain? Can't I just go with what my heart says? But many times we only create such situations where we have to chose between heart and brain? We humans love getting into complexities...Probably we think that life would be so boring without such complexities in it. :-)

There will be things where you just know that things would not fall in place or probably not right for you but your heart says (This definitely going to be an emotional call).. "No, this is only right for me. This makes me so happy. Go for it.." But at a same time your brain (which is suppose to be very practical) tells you all the correct things which your heart doesn't want to listen to. You exactly know what is right and what is wrong or probably what is good and what is bad? And that is the moment you realize it is so difficult to take decisions in life... heart will always want to overcome such situation...

And currently I am in exactly this situation... Where my brain is telling me all the POSITIVE points about my thoughts and my heart is getting into complexities and not letting me come to any conclusion... Even though I am free, I am under no pressure to take any kind of decision... I can listen to my heart and be happy and I can listen to my brain and still be happy... :-) But there are those small small crazy things which makes me confuse... because I don't want to regret by listening to either Heart or Brain in long term... Even though I know whatever decision I take... it is going to be good for me because I believe everything happens for a reason but at a same time I also believe that our actions represent our life... So I am afraid to make mistake just because I made it once...

So here I am, sailing in the boat of confusion, complexities, curiosity... and still figuring out What is right and wrong or what is good or bad..?? But I feel I better leave it on time at this point of time... Time will decide things and I will surely get some clue which will help me take my decision in future... until then I live this moment and enjoy it to the fullest.. This doesn't mean I am delaying my decisions but I feel some things are better to left on time... :-)

Why do all good things come to an end...???

Relationships are such an important thing in our life. But among all the relationship after our parents, I feel the most important relationship in our life is.... FRIENDSHIP...

The moment we start understanding people, the very first moment we go to school / college, activity classes, gym, etc.... we will make friends everywhere... some of them will become good friends and stay in your life and some of them will move away...

Last year I moved to Pune and joined IBM. I was hating that place like anything. But on 2nd or 3rd day I got introduced to a girl through one of the colleague for some assignment. I still remember she was wearing a while salwar kurta and pink laheriya dupatta. A very effective personality...tall (like a Super model), very smart and matured(she just looked.. :-) ) looking girl with an absolutely wonderful communication. At first I thought she is also an experienced girl in our field but later got to know that she was a graduate hire which impressed me more because she was way to smart for her age group. As we were working on an assignment, we got a chance to work closely with each other. And this way our journey towards great friendship started...

At work we used to always hang out together. Endless gossips, shopping discussions, boys, boyfriends, work, relationships.. what not we used to discuss... Half the time I will be at her desk and remaining time she will be at my desk... we only knew how we have managed completing our work... :-) But till then our interaction was restricted to office premises only. We started spending some extra time together when I got to know that she is travelling to UK for a work assignment. I was so upset the day she was to leave pune. I was almost in tears but couldn't cry in front of her as she was smiling and I really didn't want her to leave on a sad note... and she left India and I was left all alone back in India...

At that point of time we were good friends but not good enough to that we would have said that yeah you are my true friend. Later I also got an opportunity to travell to UK and our planning started over the phone, chat and messages. We decided to stay together. Though we both were afraid and were thinking if it is a good idea to stay together. We both had this fear that staying together doesn't ruin our friendship. And finally I was here in Swindon... and started our day to day ups and downs... initially due to some reasons we were having little tiff between us but later that same reason played a key role to got us close to each other...

There would not a single thing we would do without each other. The best thing about being with her is I can just be MYSELF... I am me and I can do any non-sense thing in front of her, I can just tell her my deepest secret, I can get mad at her and still smile the very next moment, I can just tell her I don't feel like cooking and go make pasta for me.. :-), I can be a baby in front of her and forget for a moment of my age...

She has played all the roles for me.. from mother to father, from sister to friend, from beauty expert to finance minister, Gym instructor to dietitian,  Cook to Maid, from making my birthday so special because I wanted my b'day to be special and I love surprises (even though she hates surprises..) What not... :-)

And after she becoming such an important part of my life.. here comes the time when she has to leave this country and go back to India...Again leaving me alone...It did took quite a while for both of us to reach a level of relationship where we are right now... and when we are at pick of it, she has to leave...which is so unfair...Every time I will feel I want this person so in my life... and that person will leave .. But I know she is going to come back and its our friendship which doesn't understand boundaries or borders... it will remain across the countries...

She is my BETU and will always remain my Sukdu, patlu, kittu, baby... :-)

Thanks sweetheart for getting out that hidden ME from me....

WOMEN in this so called Society...

Women is suppose to be the most beautiful creation of God. She plays so many roles from a wife to mother, daughter to daughter-in-law, a housewife to working professional... But the best thing about a woman is she will mold herself in any role so perfectly that she is at her best in any role or situation.


Since ages our society has been male dominating society. And many things which men would be doing is easily acceptable by everyone though its men or women. But if a woman does the same thing it will not be acceptable not only by men but also by women.


The best instance I can give is.... In case a man is with more than one woman (it doesn't matter he is married or single). If he is single and with more than one woman he is called STUD... And if he is married and with more than one woman some people would think he is wrong but society would still accept him and will be willing to forgive and also will expect the same from his partner. But if a woman does this (not to mention single or married really doesn't matter) she will be called as Slut, Characterless... Words woulds be less to say... Why...??? Because she is a woman....Oh not just a woman. She is an "Indian Woman".


Moreover, men having physical relationship with more than one women is OK or casual. He can be forgiven but if women does the same forget about forgiveness she is considered to be a characterless...


And top of all this if any woman comes out of a marriage and starts to stay alone (here I am only considering scenario where marriage has fallen apart because of husband had been abusive or cheat...etc.. I am not saying only men are bad. Marriages are broken due to women also but that I can write some other time.) people in society will make sure that after coming out of a bad marriage she gets to suffer more and more and do not live with a piece of mind. Why??? Because she is a woman....


She is treated differently than any other woman around her. People makes her realize that oh you are divorcee, you are not a normal woman like others. Most of the men would want to try on her. And in case that woman wants to re-marry what options does she have? She will be treated as in she has done a big mistake by coming out of marriage and if now someone else marries her its her good luck. She doesn't deserve any good normal guy (may be a single guy or a guy with a very good profile). She definitely is opting for a divorcee or widower by choice or may be by society pressure. She will be asked to compromise the most in her choices because she is not the one who have now rights to choose. Even if this woman is young, beautiful, independent, smart, talented... but she is asked to marry a guy who is divorcee or widower or may be with a kid (no harm in marrying such guy may be a that guy is really good as a person). And she will be forced to do so because of society pressure on her family or some of the family member would think what is the harm (the guy is good enough)...and plenty of various reasons would be given.


But the question here arises...

Is she really be doing so much of compromising in her life?

Doesn't she really deserve a better life?

Doesn't she has a right to chose someone or put her own views?

Doesn't she deserve the respect?

Is the society only thing in this world?


Why so many questions are coming... because if a man falls out of a marriage he is not treated as badly as the way woman is treated? Men are definitely given preferences for choosing bride and it really doesn't matter if its a second marriage for them unlike women.


Society is so partial to women specially in such cases. If a women doesn't take stand for herself she will be suppressed by all the various factors around her and her self esteem will be so low that it would be difficult for her to get back to normal life.


I am not saying all the people are like this, but number of such people is no less. There are many good people around who understand and accepts the situation of a women but people are scared to take stand for such women. Though we are in 21st century, everything is changing, technology has taken place over most of things... but what about the mentality people are still carrying.. no one wants to change... no one wants to accept things...it has been happening for many years and is continuing to happen....


I have a question if a divorcee or widower guy would want to re-marry... will he accept a woman with a kid, a woman who is not so pretty, or a woman who is not up to his level of expectation...??? and answer is NO... first of all he will not be asked to compromise by society just because he is a MAN... he has got all the leverages and rights and choices to opt for....


There are some good men around.. they are definitely there... But how many of them comes forward and accept such situation of a women??? How many of them have guts to go and stand for such women??? How many men will respect such women??


Hardly any.. can be counted on fingers... :-)


People need to change their thinking.. becoming modern by clothes doesn't make you modern. Changing thoughts will only change things around... and the day people will understand this.. Women will get the RESPECT they deserve in this world....

Getting used to...

It's been 15 days now I have moved to new work place. Massive office, Beautiful campus, Full of technology and loads of facilities provided for those thousands of people working there...completely employee centric organization... I have kinda started to like this place...not for any particular reason but in general this place gives me lot of positive vibes....

Initially when I had to move to this new work place, I was upset because I had to leave my friends, the time spent with them, that lunch (specially English breakfast at Savoys that to at lunch time :-)), that fun at work, those chat conversations, pulling each others leg, deciding everyday who will cook and bring lunch tomorrow, those sudden coffee plans, those not so required small small breaks, asking each other if they have anything to eat even after having so much food at lunch, those shopping breaks in work hours, sudden hangout plans after work, those swimming sessions, those walk back to home together and so many endless crazy things....

I had a feeling that I will never like this new place because my friends are not there, but slowly I have started to like this place. Rather than saying liking I prefer to put it as I have started to adjusting with this new place. and thanks to my new smart phone who is accompanying me and helping me get connected to my friends in all the possible ways. :-) and I feel its human nature... that slowly we start adjusting to new environment or new place. Same is happening with me I guess. I am liking people here...they give happy and positive feeling which is very important for a good working environment. I never know when it will time to leave this place after 6 months I might not want to leave and I feel sad about leaving... :-) ..anything that becomes the habit is bad...but we are human eventually we will get used to things... with difficulties or easily but we just can't help it.... :-)

“A person can get used to anything if given enough time”

― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Living up to others Expectations...

Yesterday, i was thinking whether I should expect anything from friends or some close people around me? 
and today i am thinking how much we should allow others to expect from us? 

But when does expectation comes in picture.. 

When one person is giving that comfortableness to other ..??
When other person is doing somethings for us and expecting in return..??
When people take each other for granted and think that why not he / she should be doing this for me..??
So many situations.. so many questions.... but are these the actual reasons behind people's expectation...????

I feel WE are only responsible if others are expecting from us... we have given them that space, that comfortableness, that right to expect from us....
So decide....
whom you want to give how much space in your life...
whom you want to give that extra comfortableness...
whom you want to give those rights to take you for granted....
and whom you are really answerable to....

This differentiation is necessary in our life... or else we will end up answering others questions and fulfilling others expectations (when we are not even comfortable doing it...or sometimes don't want to do it or ideally we should not do it or may be those questions or expectations are false....or may be expectations are high...???) 

It doesn't mean distant yourself from people or stop doing things or caring for them but there has to be a line drawn... where different people can be distinguished....and thats why sometimes it is necessary to maintain that safe distance with people so that we don't end up hurting others by not fulfilling their expectations and ourselves by thinking why do this person is expecting so much from me..  

Because at the end all these leads to frustration and anger... which is not good in any sense...

So rather than expecting from others and getting hurt .... its better to expect from our self only... 

Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. 
-Leo Buscaglia 

People and their Expectations

In our day to day life, we meet lots of people. Some of them continues to walk with us till some extent, some vanishes and some people becomes a necessary part of our life. and then we end up becoming dependent on those people that we don't even realize what if these people won't be around you some day? and slowly gradually people start expecting from each other.

Now here question arises how much to expect? what to expect? and should we really expect anything?

It is a human tendency to expect from others. In our routine life also we expect small small things from people who are not even in our closet circle. But when they don't behave or do things the way we want we will feel bad. Just because of our own expectations. and when same expectation is not fulfilled by a very close person we end up hurting our self. So why to expect and hurt yourself? The more we expect from others, the more we hurt ourselves only.

Do things for others if you really want to, but do not expect anything in return. You are doing anything for others to make them happy and mainly because it makes you happy (there is a hidden selfishness behind it.)

So bottom line is No EXPECTATIONS...No DISAPPOINTMENTS...
                          Do things and forget it .... n just see how much life becomes simpler to live.... :-)