Magic of fairy tales... :-)

I love.. I love ... I love disney movies.... No matter what how old I turn.... No matter if I have kids... I will alway love it....

Watched Frozen today... An addon to my animated movie watch list....everytime i watch any fairy tale movie I am mesmerized... It takes you to another world... And I love that ... A world which is soo much different than real world yet similar.... Far more better than real world yet unbelievable.... 

There is soo much love, belief, magic, good people, evil... And best thing... there is nothing impossible in fairly tales...  Its like be good, do good, finish the evil with your good, win the love with all your heart and last but not least after all bad times there is good .. There is a sunshine after rain... There is a spring after snowy & stormy winters....

There is soo much to learn from fairy tales... :-) it makes you fall in love and make you believe in love... And live every day with heart filled with joy, love, music, dance.... 

I am still mesmerized and still in that world of FROZEN... That ice, that way to beautiful princess, that poor guy with real genuine heart who falls in love with princess... And goes out of the way to help hear...That evil prince, that inner fear which you really have to get over and which is only possible by giving love.. And those beautiful expression and those talking eyes... Aahhh... I just live them...

I really really wish I be a part of such fairy tale... Or atleast I can make my life one fairy tale... :)

The New... Who brings out best in all...

Many times we come across people and we just hate them initially for whatever reason... And later with time you bond with them like... You are friends forever....

I happened to meet one such person last year... Smiling most of the time, cracking jokes on others and on himself as well and always trying to make others laugh, knowledgeable, intelligent and sense of hunour like no other person can have..!!! but i totally Hated him as I had misunderstanding that common friend of us is trying to hook me up with me....hence initially avoided talking to him .., but one day had to go for a bday party and I was new to swindon and all the people I knew were either out of town or i didnt have their no. Had no other option then to contact him to reach venue, he offered picking me up from my place as it was on his way. I agreed as I had no option. After party he dropped me home and thats how we started talking and realized he isn't bad at all...!!! :-)

As we were working in same office... Our friendship grew... It was an awesome group of us... Spending most of the time together but he always made us crib for not spending time with me and snigdha over the weekend...

In a small duration he totally understood me... Like i could speak anything to him without even thinking of being judged... Or I would rather say... This crazy guy has an awesome skill of getting things out of your heart and mind... He can convience you for any point by giving absolutely perfect examples and the best thing is he usually conviences you for your own good...!!!! :-)

He is the one who really helped me take out all my hidden thoughts and move ahead in life by leaving my past behind... He is the one who encouraged me to start writing again... Today what I am writing is all because of him... I was always a confidendent person but probably it was getting supressed due to my inner fears about myself only... But I could overcome it....and I guess no need to mention why and how ...!!!??? :-)

I miss those crazy lunch breaks and deciding whose gonna bring lunch for next day..those terrible comments on the rice I prepared, that mermaid swim contest, those coffee trick of yours to make and snigdha patch up, making me cook even I dont want to so that you can accompany me when sniggy had left uk, those unplanned dinners, that overhyped my birthday, those suprise gifts on my bday which I could have not even imagine..... Damn I can keep writing... Such small span yet endless sweet memories....

I feel really blessed to being surrounded by such good people... its like god is looking after me from somewhere and sends his angels to help me, protect me....

I am so grateful to you my dear friend for those crazy insane times, that infinite laughter and best of all those immensely valuable advice / suggestion. :) I surely have made a friend for life....

Cheers to those happy moments....

After long long very long time... probably in last 6 months or more.... sitting alone in my room with laptop..... playing my favourite playlist of videos on Youtube... and loads of thoughts running back of my mind.... thinking to pen down them.... writing .... erasing... smiling... thinking...writing again....hmmnnnn..... I always get caught into this situation... when I am filled with loads....loads and loads of thoughts.... and I wanna put down every bit of it... without manipulating it.... like I write everything that I want to without being hesitated... without being thinking of consequences of it.... 

but then I feel....why writing... why not life can be like this...??!!! :-)... where we live without thinking... every bit of it.... every single moment.... like there is no tomorrow... a moment filled with immense joy.... a heart filled with love and happiness....fun and laughter...lil sorrows... and lit tough time to make us strong but where in the end everything is beautiful.. a perfect happy ending.... just like a fairy tale.... :-)

oops... see how much my thoughts wonder.... basically what I was thinking  is that .......I love this time of mine.... where its just me and my thoughts.... which lets me understand myself, my strength, my weakness, my happy moments, my sad sides, my opinions, my wantings, my likes, my dislikes.... its the moment which lets me live... its my own time... just me and myself....where I can enjoy my own company....

Even though I don't really enjoy staying alone... sometime yes, I do love it... I love staying awake for no reason till late where I know next morning I have to wake up and go to work... love watching those same scenes from movies which I have seen 100 of times.... "Specially the one from PS I love you where Gerry and Holly meets for the first time... and she say I am lost...." :-)

All these things basically takes me back to the time I spent in UK with my crazy better half (my bestie)...not literally... lol...where we used to lie down in bed after coming from long day of work (where we used to keep on talking to each other half of the time.. ;-)).... and keep watching all the lovey dovey movies again and again... until 4 - 5 in the morning when we exactly knew that 8 o'clock we have to reach work... but how does it matter... you are in that moment.. enjoying it to the fullest... without even thinking what's gonna happen....

All such small small incidents... they make me smile now... and I feel glad that I didn't think of work and slept on time cause I had to reach office on time.... or else I would have missed my smile TODAY... 

Love thy friends....

I have always loved fairy tales and believed in the angels... but imagine having such angels in your life.... :-)

Well, I am one lucky girl having angels in my life.... whatever the situation, time, place... these angels have always protected me.....

Many times I was at my worst but these angels have made me laugh and made me forget all the sorrows I had...
and some times I have felt aimless in life but these lovely angels in life came up with awesome ideas to keep me going....
Many times I felt least confident about myself and my angels boost up my spirit to the core....
I have felt down and got up in the high... only because of my angels...
And many times I am happy and they added to my happiness....

These angels in my life have done a lot for me... its countless...
Inspired me to do things I like....
Helped me decide the right path for me....
Shown me the right direction...
Made me laugh, made me cry, drove me crazy, made me mad, those endless stupid talks, those future plannings, non stop day dreaming....those phases of life when its just gals, gals, gals.... those endless secret sharing and planning..... those talks of deciding to having babies at same time...removing that office frustration in front of them,  doing that endless crazy shopping.... this list will never end if i keep writing....

what I would have done without my friends.... who are no less than angels...... they kept filling and till date filling my life with their magic...... lucky have beautiful angels around me in form of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. :-)

Something made in heaven....

I love weddings... Specially when its family or friend's..... The environment around, that chaos, ladies busy dressing up and showing off their attires and jewelries... Men busy with their own talks... Kids involved in their own plays....that hell lot of preparation before wedding and those messed up surrounding around after wedding....

But wondering whats the mind set of bride and groom... Its a D day for them... Little excitement, lil' nervousness, lil irritation for standing those long hours on stage greeting everyone.... Those heavy cloths which you are probably never gonna wear... Loads n loads make up of bride... Those never ending rituals n ceremonies... And in all this that happiness of starting a new life... A life you always dreamt of having... A life to be spent with your prince charming.... A beginning of new stage in your life, new responsibilities, new family... New people to accept and to be accepted among them... Its beautiful... Just beautiful....

You gotta get over it....

Met a friend today... i knew what is happening in her life as in personally but I avoid talking cause I dont wanna make her upset....

But everytime we talk some or other way that topic will come and tears start rolling on her cheeks... A person who is in relationship with someone for 10 or more long years and then one person falls out of luv... Its so easy!! Isn't it??!! Does other person think or even understands the state of mind of a person who is still in love and hoping that things will get better...??!!!

My friend....Such a strong lady but has surrendered to her emotions... I know very well that it is difficult to accept reality and move on in life... Specially when you see things not happening as you had expected. But thats a logical acceptance of mind which heart declines to follow..., and thats what my friend is doing....running behind the something which u know doesnt exist... But it is difficult for anyone to make her understand... A person needs to understand on his own.

There are so many people in this world who doesn't want to move on. They remain sticked to past and ruin their present and future both. Rather realize its not an end of world... 

One thing I have learnt with my experience... Sitting and crying over the problem again and again leads you nowhere. Rather accept the fact, analyse if it can be resolved.., if yes then work on it and if not then once for all cry out that pain and when you are done wipe those tears and move on... 

Its gonna be difficult initially, rather very difficult... U'll be in pain and will feel like the only unhappy person on earth... But come over that thought... Look around.... There are people who are happy even though they are orphan or disabled or in some situation which is uncurable or unrepairable....

Feel the pain of others and try to make them happy n see how ur soul will be filled with happiness... Heartaches happen... Some people are lucky not to have them but think that you are super lucky... God has given you another chance to be loved by a bettew person... ;-) as life doesnt end because of anyone... Its just the end of one inning and beginning of other....:-)

Love the life you live....

Have you ever observed or realized how much people around us inspire us or teach us....??

Well, I feel we all experience this everyday or probably every moment... but I have started acknowledging this experience off late. And why not when you are getting best lessons from a very known institute called "LIFE".....

I have learnt most important lessons of life after passing out from school or college.... the real experiences of life teaches you the most important lessons....

Well, These thoughts are not coming from me because I experienced something bad and learned some lesson... experience could be good, bad or best.... I did had some bad experiences... but I don't even remember them... all I remember is good memory which instantly puts smile on my face... and not to mention while writing this line also it is making me smile...

Like, everyday I drive to work... I see small kids playing near slum with so much joy... with minimal cloths, probably no exclusive toys and no access to luxury but the smile on their face is immense... it gives pleasure and makes others also smile....

There are N number of such things happen around us every moment... its up to you what you wanna observe and what you wanna adopt from it....

So enjoy the your everyday journey in this institute called "LIFE".... attend the classes.... bunk some... follow some rules... break some... set the goals.... and work towards achieving them... enjoy those small and big breaks.... do your homework and miss it doing sometimes.... get punished sometimes and get awarded ....
make new friends and maintain old ones.... enjoy the moments life falling in love for the first time.... believe in miracles.... and see that Life is sooo beautiful.... :-)

Walk, run, fall, rise... But never stop ..

Many times I have so much in mind to put down on paper but I am just bewildered with loads and loads of thoughts that I don't understand what to put and what not to.....??

But just now going through all my thoughts I realized at the end it leads to one single point and that is Positivity... Over the period of time I have understood that positivity is nothing but living each and every moment with happiness.... whether it is good time or bad time, tough or easy, sunshine or rain, good people or bad people... its in everything....

Positivity is nothing but how you take each moment...

I know very well that it is very difficult to think or remain positive all the time... and I am not saying I stay positive always but I always try to... Yes, there are moments that makes me weak and make me feel "Oh Lord, is it ever gonna happen..??!!" But the moment such thought occurs in my mind, my heart send signal to my mind.... relax... don't you see it happening... stay positive it is surely gonna happen... and I smile with happiness in my heart... by thinking if not now... but surely soon.... :-)

I have always believed or I would rather say I have learnt to believe that "Whatever happens, happens for good and if we don't understand the reason for it happening right now don't stress yourself. When right time will come you will understand the reason." :-)

Too much of funda... isn't it??!!!

But by implementing such small small things in our daily life we can make life so much easier... Rather than crying on problems... smile and face them... Problems will look smaller, easier....Try to find happiness in your own... rather than looking at others and envy them....

According to me simple funda to remain positive / happy is,

Smile... even if its a small thing...
Do thing which makes you really really happy.... :-)
Talk to people who makes you smile.... :-)
Help others... this gives immense pleasure...
Go for a walk ... enjoy the nature...
Spend time with family and friends....
and last but not the least.... "LOVE YOURSELF"...

I am not trying to be any philosopher... this is what I learnt from my experiences.... if you feel happy from heart... everything looks easy and good.... :-) 

Experiencing others feeling... :-)

Today saw a mail in my official mailbox from a known person but with whom I dont interact regularly. Mail said "marriage sweets at my desk." I was surprised as I didn't see that girl going for long vacation for her wedding. I was definitely curious....

And suddenly I saw her near pantry. I went to her and immediately questioned popped out of my mouth.." Hey, did you get married...??!!!" She replied.. yes and started telling me about how and when all this happened... In these few minutes I obeserved her mehandi, bangles, new salwar kurta and most important and her eyes... eyes filled with joy and happiness... Eyes telling you about her heart.... :-) 

I have always known this girl as a quite person. She will talk only if required (may be that much I know about her). But it was pleasant feeling to see her with so much of joy... A joy shown from smile, eyes and body language... It literally made me happy tooo... I felt like I am only telling someone that "yes, I got married..!!"

This incident again made me realize that happiness is not only about us or related to us.... We can experience extreme happiness in others too... :-)

Photo courtesy : A gleam of dreams

My way of being happy... :-)

After 2 long years today I decided to paint. Why...? Cause I was feeling bored....

Though painting is not something I really enjoyed in my childhood.... Infact drawing or painting was never my cup of tea in childhood... Its when I was in my teens I learnt about my interest in art.... 

But in passing years by writing or making pencil sketches, or by doing pottery painting or by doing rangoli etc etc... I understood one thing... This is what makes me happy... Makes me really happy from inside... 

The only thing is....I am not regular in doing what I really love to do... Everytime I spend sometime on my interest I decide that I will regularly spare some time for my interest which makes me soo happy... But then with days it just become a thought... 

But now I decide to be always happy by spending time for myself ... For my interest... I never know when it can lead me to some opportunity... ;-)

Losing yourself to emotions....

Many times in life you try or you are being positive with things. You feel the happiness....not because something really good is happening but because you are thinking and feeling positive. 

But all of a sudden you start feeling sad for no reason. You don't show it to world but you feel it inside. This sadness takes you to all those things being taken away from you in past which you so wanted to hold on to. 

How much we think or try to remain positive but we are allowed to break down at some point. We are allowed to take our emotions out, to feel light in order to feel happy again. Even if we know all the fundas that time doesn't remain same all the time but sometimes you just cant explain this to yourself.

You are not probably upset with time or god or with people.... But you are just tired of being strong all the time... And you just want to lose yourself.... 

A place to LOVE and to be Loved....

Many times I listen to certain songs and I literally visualize some places or incidents or certain people. This really made me think that how much we relate music to our life.

Recently one evening I was driving back home and 'Edge of Desire' by John Mayers was playing on my ipod. Weather was slightly chilly, it wasn't too dark yet, average traffic was there on roads... and all of a sudden while listening to this song I almost felt like I was in UK. It took me back a year ago when I was in UK. This time of year then I was working at Microsoft and daily travelling to Swindon - Reading - Swindon. Autumn had just begun by then and I had just begun to experience UK winters. 

I used to listen to this song everyday while travelling. I love the music, I love the beats, I love the way its sung... like I can feel the desire (desire of wanting to be in UK) when I listen to this song. 

It's not just a song which reminds me of that place. There are small small things happening everyday which takes me back to that time. I become upset for a moment and then smile like it's kinda dream I am experiencing.... :-)

My friend told me once, never be upset / sad about things you love or really really want... by doing so you are sending negative vibrations to universe. Stay happy, wish, pray, have faith and believe in your dream and yourself that you love it, you want it... you gonna get it... :-)

I know visiting UK is not my top most priority at this point of time. But the feeling I have for this place is like being in love with someone for first time. It is like when you are in love with someone and you think about that person you feel butterflies in your stomach....the feeling is incredible...it brings smile on your face and happiness in your heart...

Read somewhere... 

 “You never really leave a place or person you love, part of them you take with you ,leaving a part of yourself behind.” 

and that's what happen to me when I came back to India... I brought the feelings with me of that place and left myself over there... 

My Shopping fetish....

We come across so many incidents in our day to day life... and we forget it... but someday if you are sitting and just a thought of such incident comes to your mind it makes you smile....and it makes you go in flashback  and live that moment....but it also sometimes makes you nostalgic.... as it is just a memory now...

Today someone praised my handbag and it just took me a year back...and all I could do was just smile... that funny incident of purchasing this handbag made me smile again....

A year ago... me and my bestie went for shopping to town center (as usual.. ;-)). We went to Accessorize and saw one bag... found it really attractive and wanted to buy but we decided not to buy as we felt the price was lil' high and we really didn't need a bag at that point of time... so we both looked at each other and decided not to purchase that bag and left the shop quietly...

Though we were out of that shop but that bag wasn't out of our mind... we were still discussing about that bag and convincing each other that it wasn't worth buying .. too expensive you know.. lol.... :-) after few steps we saw fashion fiesta coming towards us with the similar kinda bag in her hand... :-) Me and my bestie looked at each other and immediately turned back and went to accessorize again without even uttering a word to each other.. the acknowledgement our eyes did to each other was more than sufficient... :-)

Bestie picked up the same bag that fashionista was having and went n stood in queue for billing. I picked up the same one with different color. But was confused if I should buy it or not. I grabbed a bag and went near a billing queue and asked my friend (Just to convince myself as I knew I don't need a bag.)

Me, "I have so many bags I don't need this right?!!!"

She said, "Yes Suza, You don't need this bag you got quite a few."

(But I wasn't convinced yet as my heart was screaming .. "Don't think just buy" but My brain was saying... "Wait, think you really don't need this...")

But how many times mind take over heart... :-) "Hardly..." :-)

I asked my bestie again, "You know what, One bag has become old and another one is just okeyish... And this one isn't that expensive. All the bags I already have are almost of this price..."

And like any best friend does, "She got convinced with my point.. as we both wanted to buy that bag..."

And finally heart took over m ind ... lol... :-)... we both were immensely happy to buy those bags and laughing on our craziness that how we convinced ourselves to buy them... :-) and this small incident still makes me happy.... and reminds of my crazy times...

 we girls are crazy... once we want something we will find a reason the grab it... ;-)

Happiness is...

Recently came across a page on Facebook.... and I instantly smiled just by reading the name of the page... Name read like "The Happy Page"... :-) and when I saw the content of the page it actually made me happy...  it felt just good.... :-)

When I saw the images of this page it really made me think that we are happy in small small things but we just forget to realize it...like when I read this post.... "Happiness is new shoes.. " and I smiled... because I could so connect it to this image.. Cause every time I bought a pair of shoes... I am immensely happy... at least for next few days... I literally kiss my new shoes.... it just makes me soo much happy... :-)

But the point here is not to love my new shoes... point is... how small small day to day incidents of our life makes us happy...!!!! 

Though its 

...watching your favorite TV show

...sharing secret with your best friends

...someone saying you have lost weight

...or just a simple thought of someone

There are N number of reasons to make us smile or feel happy... its just we need to realize it... and how do we realize it...??!!!! As per my thoughts, just by living each moment of life... rather than stressing ourselves... We need to enjoy each moment we come across... and we will feel how much life is easy and all the stress and tension can be taken away with just a small feeling of being happy... :-)

It's not a rocket science but training yourself to see and feel happiness will lead you to a better life...and If not a better life then it will surely give you strength to face the tough times of our life...

I have realized over the period of time in life that... Time never remains same for long.. it changes... but not as per our convenience but as per its convenience... so just chillax, sit back and see the life happening... you stressing yourself is not going to resolve your problem... I am not saying not to do anything to resolve issues in your life... but taking stress or tension is also not going to help rather it will add on to your problems... so smile and face the challenge of life... Because every day is new... so welcome it with a smile, cause loads and loads of happiness is waiting for YOU. :-)  

Salute to Women....

Recently I happen to meet a lady... In her early 50s...tall, graceful, attractive, elegant....But when I actually started talking to her I got to know a lil' about this pretty woman...

In just 2 hours span I felt like I am seeing future me in her ( probably can't be this good...but will surely try to...) 

The fact I liked about her is she was vocal about what and how she feels and the best part was she was so young by heart, by her thoughts... A perfect combination of modern and tradition...

It was our first meeting and probably was not required to share it but she did... And that took me to surprise... She told us that she and her husband don't stay together. I could just look at her and smile but it took me in flashback.... How much I was hesitant about my marital status at such a young age. And this lady in her mid age telling so strongly about her personal life really made me think.... I couldn't imagine her state of mind while being separated from her husband when her kids are in their 20s....

It takes tremendous strength to stand where she is at this moment... I surely don't know much about her but all I know is I was absolutely mesmerized by her persona in those 2 hours... :-)

I seriously hate being compared with anyone even if its some celebrity but today somehow my mom mentioned about this lady and told me that "Supriya, I feel you are so much like her" and First time I felt happy to be compared with someone... 

I don't know if I will ever meet her but if I happen to I would like to tell her that I really respect such women who doesn't quietly tolerate things just because what society will say and take a stand for herself and her family...

Mumbai - A city of dreams...

It is said that once someone stayed and survived in Mumbai can survive anywhere in the world but that person will not want to leave Mumbai and stay somewhere else. That is the magic of MUMBAI... or may be say an aura of Mumbai city.

And I have experienced this.....

I moved to Mumbai in 8 years ago and literally hated it for being there. Every single day I used to think as soon as possible I want to leave this city and move to Pune ( A calm, peaceful place). Before moving to mumbai, I had never traveled in local buses and trains. In very first year I experienced travelling in BEST buses and the famous local trains of Mumbai which I definitely hated it at that point of time. I still remember every morning starting my day at 8 by taking auto from my home to Goregaon station and catch 8:15 am's  local train from Goregaon Station to Dadar. Change Western line to Central Line and catch another train from Platform 3 or 4 to Ghatkopar. From Ghatkopar west station catch a bus to Saumya College. A long tiring Journey of 2 and half hour to work  and back home. I had literally lost few kgs of weight in just 2 months duration due to my hectic schedule (may be was good for me... ;-) )

Every day used to be a new day while traveling in local. I met new people, new faces... some laughing, some giggling, some chatting, some buying local stuff, some listening to music, some over phone, some just viewing outside world, some lost in their own world and some still in sleep mode....

Time passed, I changed my job and then no more traveling of local trains required for me...which definitely made me happy. But still I was in hope of moving to Pune and leaving my happy life in mumbai with no friends around and had not even seen a Mumbai city which is known for so many places. Just me, my life and work. I was happy with life but was not liking the place.

Slowly with years I made some friends in Mumbai who made me see the real Mumbai....

Gate way of India, Juhu Beach, Queens Necklace, Wankhede stadium, Aare Colony, Linking road and Hill road shopping street, Lokhandwala shopping complex, Bade Miyan kebabs, Local panwalas, roadside pani puri to 5-star hotels, posh pubs and lounges, almost all the restaurants in Malad and Andheri area... list is endless....

In all my most favorite place is Queens necklace and Aarey Colony. Just grab a cone of ice cream at late night and sit at queen's necklace... never felt at such a peace in this fast running city which never sleeps. You see a mid night beauty of Mumbai city and you find yourself... what could be a better combination than this...??!!!

After 6 years when I had to decide to move to Pune and I didn't want to.... I wanted to stay in Mumbai... I wanted to live that fast pace life... But what made me upset the most was the reason I had to leave Mumbai...

"The reason which made me come to this place only became the reason for me to leave it..."

It's been 2 years now I have left Mumbai but those memories, those places, those people around, every damn small thing doesn't go out of my mind and heart....

Mumbai is the city that changed ME, discovered ME, made ME...

I have struggled, I have enjoyed, I have learnt, I have found true people... I have understood lives and life....

I was in Love with Mumbai and I still am... the good thing is I loved this place due to people I met there... I am not saying I met all the good people there... I definitely met good and bad people both, but I have learnt ...I have learnt some important lessons of my life from them... and most important some of really important people of my life... I have met them in Mumbai....

This city has given me people who have helped me find myself and discovering ME for what I am today and helping me become the strongest person I could have been ever been...

Right time...

Sometimes there comes a time in life and you feel life is not on track... rather you feel there is no path only...

You don't know...where you are heading, what you are doing, what exactly you want... you just don't understand or may be you don't want to understand... Everything looks blank to you... probably you want loads of things in life.... want life to be nearly perfect, to have everything in place....

Sometimes in life...You see people around you, say your friends or family or relatives, colleagues, college mates... settled in life... moving ahead... (you tend to see positive growth of others)...and you feel .. you are yet to start your life from scratch....

Nothing seems to be going good...
Work no more makes you happy... you feel demotivated...
Even if you are surrounded by loads of people... you feel lonely...
You want certain things in life... and you don't seem to be getting it...
You keep on thinking about sorting out things in life and you know that you are the only person who can make things work for you but you no more have energy to fight for things and move ahead....

But there is a vague hope in your heart that things will change...and you wait for that one magical moment to happen...

I believe in this magic... I have a hope things will change... my guardian angel is looking at me... its just the right time has not yet arrived...

I know there is nothing like right time or wrong time, right place or wrong place ... but I strongly believe that you never get things before time...everything happens when its time... so probably this isn't the time...

But I am trying to live this moment to the fullest without getting bothered about the place or people or ups or downs or problems or happiness... and just waiting for that time to be at right place.... when I will feel yes this is it.... :-)

Fake Dream...

Some words don't have specific meanings... different people have different definitions in their own terms... Feelings is one such word from vocabulary which always makes me think what should I understand by it.... ??!!

It is something.....

You keep in heart and it remains in your heart forever....

You share it and it might get multiplied...

And sumtimes you share it and you end up getting hurt....

We as in human being are often affraid to share our feeling... Probably we don't want to accept the reality... Somewhere deep down in our heart we already know the answers to our feeling but we run away from confessing it as we are affraid of being rejected....

But I feel rejection is better than living in fake emotional world where we keep on assuming things from other persons end... Whereas that person might not be even thinking the way you are thinking..

Rejection might be hurting for a moment or probably for certain days but living a fake dream is far more dangerous compared to rejection...

As I have said before we ourselves make our lives complicated by assuming things... But I have understood over the period of time that accepting a fact and moving ahead in life is much more better than  living a fake dream....

The Heart Connection

So finally now I am in India... and all those thoughts how it is going to be when I will be back and blah blah blah.... Those thoughts I am actually living now...

Yes I am back to my home town.. I am with my family and my friends... weather is good... its monsoon... Pune can't better than this in this weather... but I am missing something... I am lost... lost somewhere in thoughts.... lost deep down... I am happy but sad.... I am present but lost... I am Me but I am not...

I confess... Yes I miss UK... more than anything.....But one thing for sure I am not going Ga Ga over UK... I am not boring people around me with the stories of UK... I am missing that place and its in my heart and in my mind... I can't express the reasons for missing UK because list will go on and on and on....

Sometimes places bind you and sometimes people bind you... but this time both the things bonded me... That's the magic of this country.... and in no time I got connected to this place just the way I was connected to Mumbai.... :-)

The thought of not knowing when I will be able to go back there makes me upset... but I know I will surely go... SOON Very SOON....

In the fairy tale place....

It feels like yesterday when i came to UK and today is a day Its time for me to go back to India. Visiting England was never my dream, yeah I do wanted to visit some places in Europe and Scotland which is ofcourse part of UK. (Like one of my friend used say I want to visit all yashraj movie places?;... ;-) ) 

11 long months just flew with lighting speed and i didnt even realize untill I started to recieve mails from IBM reminding me of my End Of Assignment... :-) loads of official claims, long mail chains of approvals, follow ups for claims and approvals, longggggg ... Very long list of shopping ( entire year i did shopping but i guess it wasn't enough.. :-) ), gifts for family and friends, end of tenancy process, packing, luggage weight constraints and list goes on and on and on..... In all these where was the time to think and feel bad about me leaving this country where I really really wanna stay... 

When I came to UK, I knew that I have to go back as soon as my VISA ends. But my sentimental heart didnt want to accept this bitter fact. And finally that day has arrived... 

These 11 months had been wonderful... Enjoyed the coldest weather of UK and scotland, made some friends for life,  lost some very good friends, met some old friends, lost and gained weight, made some resolutions and broke some, tried learning swimming and left it, visited some beautiful places of Uk and missed some, tried various cuisines, strated writing blog (thanks to my crazy friend for inspiring me), tried learning UK driving rules, learned the concept of leaving dos, enjoyed one of the most memorable experience of watching olympics live and what not...??!!!

In almost a year experienced different phases of life... 

There was a time I was surrounded by friends but many times I wanted my own time and then a time cane when I was lonesome and wanted people around but no one was there. Sometimes behaved like a child and sonetimes too mature, got pampered by friends and sometimes hated, missed family... I can just keep on writing and pages would not be sufficient...

I am leaving this place with no regrets, no hard feelings....

I still remember when 2 years back I moved from mumbai to pune, I was in luv with mumbai and i still am. And my mom and my friends used not like much me talking constantly about mumbai. But after going back from Uk I guess I am gonna talk all about this place as it has made me fall in luv with it. and I am glad that I am taking such lovely memories of this place and a HOPE of coming back soon.... :-)

SOMEBODY PAMPER ME..:-)

Few days back my bestie shared this image with me....

I laughed initially when first looked at it... but this really made me think that I am somewhere like this girl....its soo me... :-)

WE... as in Today's modern women suppose to be strong, independent, smart, multitasking women ... who can do almost everything on their own. and there is no harm in doing things on your own specially in today's fast pace life. As in I feel I can do most of the things on my own but there are still few things which I will think thousand times before doing on my own...

Like, going for movie or holidaying on my own... few months back I so wanted to go for France tour on my own...like travel alone, read books, meet new people... sounds so exciting... like it was always kind of dream for me that I travel some place on my own... but the moment I spoke to my family... first statement was you are a girl how can you travel alone.. (This reminds me of dialogue from Jab we met.. Jaise mujhe hi nahi pata ke me ladki hun.. lol) ....then and there demotivated...  I do understand that they care for my safety but it was something I wanted to do... so finally I dropped plan... I don't blame my family for that but may be even I didn't have that much of guts to go alone... may be....

But, here I am not thinking of doing something on my own or something... the main thing going on in my mind is... how many times we feel that I want someone... Someone we can rely on... someone with whom we can share anything, that special someone.... :-)

I have been into many situations like this where I have felt that I badly need someone to just pamper me or say some good words to me so that I feel good... specially when I am not feeling well... It could be minor headache or body ache or fever... but the loneliness makes your smallest issue look soo big... and you start to feel weak about it... and that moment you just break down... cry to your bed... and feel like someone please pamper me... :-) and after all that realise ohh... I am a Strong, independent women... :-( ... I am absolutely on my own.... :-)

I have stayed alone for many years... and many times have just loved my freedom... but those few moments of loneliness makes me feel... that is it... I am no longer going to stay alone...  

And sometimes its just nothing and you feel low... like absolutely nothing... and scroll hundreds of contacts in your cell phone thinking whom to call... and feels like is there a single contact whom I can just call and talk it out... and you don't find a single one...

It's not that your friends's or family won't be available for you when you need them, but the thing is everyone has their own life and at certain point of time they will all be some or other way busy with that... and that moment may be we realise its good to have that one special person in our life...who has time for me, I can bother that person anytime, who can pamper me, care for me, cooks for me, what not... lil demanding but why not at certain times... :-) and may be next day my thoughts are changed... but that moment I want everything....

But a thought worth thinking... weather to have that special person in life or not....

At this point in time... I know that I need to have it... but that is what my heart says... but my mind is not willing to accept this point.. I am not willing to share my space with anyone... or may be it is that one right person has to arrive and all your thoughts are changed... :-)

Jerry, Jerry, Quite Contrary

One more Good Bye for me.....

I hated it when Snigdha left Swindon... Though I knew its going to be tough... but this time it wasn't expected... I never ever imagined I will feel this sad for my friend ('Jerry' - his name given by himself...)....

We became friends without even meeting each other....(Not even 100% sure if he considers me friend... I am sure he does..:-) ) It was work which introduced us...n me such dominant lioness used be so afraid of him at work to even ask for small small things.... but things changed gradually.... From work we started sharing thoughts with each other... It was always fun talking to him.. his fundas and concepts ... always crystal clear whatever he says... some of them definitely went bouncer to me many times... but that's alright... he knows how much I use my brain... ;-)

He is one person who looks very quite.... but I know he talks because I have spoken to him for hours... :-) and I have always enjoyed those talks.... Always willing to help (It could be anything... I have asked him... and he provides help in less or more amount but he always does...)

I was always dis-comfortably comfortable with him...like many times I can talk anything to him and many times I will hesitate to ask even small thing to him... It's a strange friendship between us... We hardly spent time with each other.. but whatever we did or whatever conversations we had... I remember them all.... and always enjoyed them...

Yesterday I got to know from someone that he is going back to India today... I was shocked and little mad at him... but then I thought he is like that only.... DIFFERENT... different from all... as he says... I am Imperfectly Perfect...:-) ...So I gladly accepted the news and said good bye to him... But it did made me sad.... which I had never expected... that such small span of time spent with someone can make me this sad...

I am sad that...one really good person is going away from my life... He was my Google, a friend.... and someone whom I can ping and disturb anytime without even bothering if he is busy or not... :-) ... But I make myself understand by saying that may be his role was only  this much in my life...he came taught me many things... and gave good memories of lifetime and now he is gone... I don't know if ever I will meet him again... But He is one whose memories I will always treasure.... :-)

If you ever read this....
I regret not spending my time with you Wacko.... :-P ... And remember Pizza is still due...if we ever meet ....:-) and Btw ur so called Tom or SH whatever you call ... he's gonna miss u bad..... :-P