Complexities of life...

We all want our life to be simple... but we human being love to make it complex and then we will blame god that why my life is so complex... How does this complexity start from??? We misunderstand others (mostly people who are  close in your life) and others misunderstand us... and many other small small reasons plays an important role for creating such complexities in an individual's life...


And with all these complexities we adults behave in a very strange way and start stay away from each other and then stops talking gradually...  But when we were young and we used to have fight with those who are close to us in life... after some time we will forget everything ... smile and things are back to normal... that's childhood...so simple and happy.... But once we are grown ups, we think we are very mature now and can handle things very well and in all this we make things complex for ourselves...


There will be situations when we will come across those people who used to be a part of our life... and there would be so many thoughts going around in the mind...what they are up to? how they must be doing in life? are they happy? and what not...?? But there would a kind of discomfort (even though we used to be so comfortable with them some time in the past..)....


If sometimes we forget that we are not grown ups... probably life will become little simple for us....

Supriya...

Few lines defined by a really good friend for me and just can't stop myself from putting it here....and title suggested by him because he feels only one word can describe these line... :-)

Sometimes some stories do not have beginning. That’s what one of my

friend said to me once.

Yes, my dear, some stories do not have, but what doesn’t begin means

never happened. 

In my case. She just happened.

You do not meet her..she happens!

Have you seen a bright light piercing through eyes, you either blink 

and miss it, or you see its beautiful colors splashing all over you.

That’s like her.

You need to absorb her.

Ladies and gentleman..meet Supriya Shinde.. you don’t live friendship

with her, you live a dream.. a dream with its unusual dose of

adventures and nightmares, up and downs…but something you will

cherish!

The never ending battle between Heart and Mind...

Sometimes I have so many things running in my mind that will make myself only so confused about my own thoughts. I will want to prioritize my thoughts but it will be difficult because everything will be so important to me... it is crazy at a time but that is ME who is like this... :-)

Many a times there would be a tiff between a thoughts coming from mind and heart...I will want those thoughts coming from heart to win over thoughts coming from brain. And makes me think why do I have to choose in between heart and brain? Can't I just go with what my heart says? But many times we only create such situations where we have to chose between heart and brain? We humans love getting into complexities...Probably we think that life would be so boring without such complexities in it. :-)

There will be things where you just know that things would not fall in place or probably not right for you but your heart says (This definitely going to be an emotional call).. "No, this is only right for me. This makes me so happy. Go for it.." But at a same time your brain (which is suppose to be very practical) tells you all the correct things which your heart doesn't want to listen to. You exactly know what is right and what is wrong or probably what is good and what is bad? And that is the moment you realize it is so difficult to take decisions in life... heart will always want to overcome such situation...

And currently I am in exactly this situation... Where my brain is telling me all the POSITIVE points about my thoughts and my heart is getting into complexities and not letting me come to any conclusion... Even though I am free, I am under no pressure to take any kind of decision... I can listen to my heart and be happy and I can listen to my brain and still be happy... :-) But there are those small small crazy things which makes me confuse... because I don't want to regret by listening to either Heart or Brain in long term... Even though I know whatever decision I take... it is going to be good for me because I believe everything happens for a reason but at a same time I also believe that our actions represent our life... So I am afraid to make mistake just because I made it once...

So here I am, sailing in the boat of confusion, complexities, curiosity... and still figuring out What is right and wrong or what is good or bad..?? But I feel I better leave it on time at this point of time... Time will decide things and I will surely get some clue which will help me take my decision in future... until then I live this moment and enjoy it to the fullest.. This doesn't mean I am delaying my decisions but I feel some things are better to left on time... :-)

Why do all good things come to an end...???

Relationships are such an important thing in our life. But among all the relationship after our parents, I feel the most important relationship in our life is.... FRIENDSHIP...

The moment we start understanding people, the very first moment we go to school / college, activity classes, gym, etc.... we will make friends everywhere... some of them will become good friends and stay in your life and some of them will move away...

Last year I moved to Pune and joined IBM. I was hating that place like anything. But on 2nd or 3rd day I got introduced to a girl through one of the colleague for some assignment. I still remember she was wearing a while salwar kurta and pink laheriya dupatta. A very effective personality...tall (like a Super model), very smart and matured(she just looked.. :-) ) looking girl with an absolutely wonderful communication. At first I thought she is also an experienced girl in our field but later got to know that she was a graduate hire which impressed me more because she was way to smart for her age group. As we were working on an assignment, we got a chance to work closely with each other. And this way our journey towards great friendship started...

At work we used to always hang out together. Endless gossips, shopping discussions, boys, boyfriends, work, relationships.. what not we used to discuss... Half the time I will be at her desk and remaining time she will be at my desk... we only knew how we have managed completing our work... :-) But till then our interaction was restricted to office premises only. We started spending some extra time together when I got to know that she is travelling to UK for a work assignment. I was so upset the day she was to leave pune. I was almost in tears but couldn't cry in front of her as she was smiling and I really didn't want her to leave on a sad note... and she left India and I was left all alone back in India...

At that point of time we were good friends but not good enough to that we would have said that yeah you are my true friend. Later I also got an opportunity to travell to UK and our planning started over the phone, chat and messages. We decided to stay together. Though we both were afraid and were thinking if it is a good idea to stay together. We both had this fear that staying together doesn't ruin our friendship. And finally I was here in Swindon... and started our day to day ups and downs... initially due to some reasons we were having little tiff between us but later that same reason played a key role to got us close to each other...

There would not a single thing we would do without each other. The best thing about being with her is I can just be MYSELF... I am me and I can do any non-sense thing in front of her, I can just tell her my deepest secret, I can get mad at her and still smile the very next moment, I can just tell her I don't feel like cooking and go make pasta for me.. :-), I can be a baby in front of her and forget for a moment of my age...

She has played all the roles for me.. from mother to father, from sister to friend, from beauty expert to finance minister, Gym instructor to dietitian,  Cook to Maid, from making my birthday so special because I wanted my b'day to be special and I love surprises (even though she hates surprises..) What not... :-)

And after she becoming such an important part of my life.. here comes the time when she has to leave this country and go back to India...Again leaving me alone...It did took quite a while for both of us to reach a level of relationship where we are right now... and when we are at pick of it, she has to leave...which is so unfair...Every time I will feel I want this person so in my life... and that person will leave .. But I know she is going to come back and its our friendship which doesn't understand boundaries or borders... it will remain across the countries...

She is my BETU and will always remain my Sukdu, patlu, kittu, baby... :-)

Thanks sweetheart for getting out that hidden ME from me....

WOMEN in this so called Society...

Women is suppose to be the most beautiful creation of God. She plays so many roles from a wife to mother, daughter to daughter-in-law, a housewife to working professional... But the best thing about a woman is she will mold herself in any role so perfectly that she is at her best in any role or situation.


Since ages our society has been male dominating society. And many things which men would be doing is easily acceptable by everyone though its men or women. But if a woman does the same thing it will not be acceptable not only by men but also by women.


The best instance I can give is.... In case a man is with more than one woman (it doesn't matter he is married or single). If he is single and with more than one woman he is called STUD... And if he is married and with more than one woman some people would think he is wrong but society would still accept him and will be willing to forgive and also will expect the same from his partner. But if a woman does this (not to mention single or married really doesn't matter) she will be called as Slut, Characterless... Words woulds be less to say... Why...??? Because she is a woman....Oh not just a woman. She is an "Indian Woman".


Moreover, men having physical relationship with more than one women is OK or casual. He can be forgiven but if women does the same forget about forgiveness she is considered to be a characterless...


And top of all this if any woman comes out of a marriage and starts to stay alone (here I am only considering scenario where marriage has fallen apart because of husband had been abusive or cheat...etc.. I am not saying only men are bad. Marriages are broken due to women also but that I can write some other time.) people in society will make sure that after coming out of a bad marriage she gets to suffer more and more and do not live with a piece of mind. Why??? Because she is a woman....


She is treated differently than any other woman around her. People makes her realize that oh you are divorcee, you are not a normal woman like others. Most of the men would want to try on her. And in case that woman wants to re-marry what options does she have? She will be treated as in she has done a big mistake by coming out of marriage and if now someone else marries her its her good luck. She doesn't deserve any good normal guy (may be a single guy or a guy with a very good profile). She definitely is opting for a divorcee or widower by choice or may be by society pressure. She will be asked to compromise the most in her choices because she is not the one who have now rights to choose. Even if this woman is young, beautiful, independent, smart, talented... but she is asked to marry a guy who is divorcee or widower or may be with a kid (no harm in marrying such guy may be a that guy is really good as a person). And she will be forced to do so because of society pressure on her family or some of the family member would think what is the harm (the guy is good enough)...and plenty of various reasons would be given.


But the question here arises...

Is she really be doing so much of compromising in her life?

Doesn't she really deserve a better life?

Doesn't she has a right to chose someone or put her own views?

Doesn't she deserve the respect?

Is the society only thing in this world?


Why so many questions are coming... because if a man falls out of a marriage he is not treated as badly as the way woman is treated? Men are definitely given preferences for choosing bride and it really doesn't matter if its a second marriage for them unlike women.


Society is so partial to women specially in such cases. If a women doesn't take stand for herself she will be suppressed by all the various factors around her and her self esteem will be so low that it would be difficult for her to get back to normal life.


I am not saying all the people are like this, but number of such people is no less. There are many good people around who understand and accepts the situation of a women but people are scared to take stand for such women. Though we are in 21st century, everything is changing, technology has taken place over most of things... but what about the mentality people are still carrying.. no one wants to change... no one wants to accept things...it has been happening for many years and is continuing to happen....


I have a question if a divorcee or widower guy would want to re-marry... will he accept a woman with a kid, a woman who is not so pretty, or a woman who is not up to his level of expectation...??? and answer is NO... first of all he will not be asked to compromise by society just because he is a MAN... he has got all the leverages and rights and choices to opt for....


There are some good men around.. they are definitely there... But how many of them comes forward and accept such situation of a women??? How many of them have guts to go and stand for such women??? How many men will respect such women??


Hardly any.. can be counted on fingers... :-)


People need to change their thinking.. becoming modern by clothes doesn't make you modern. Changing thoughts will only change things around... and the day people will understand this.. Women will get the RESPECT they deserve in this world....

Getting used to...

It's been 15 days now I have moved to new work place. Massive office, Beautiful campus, Full of technology and loads of facilities provided for those thousands of people working there...completely employee centric organization... I have kinda started to like this place...not for any particular reason but in general this place gives me lot of positive vibes....

Initially when I had to move to this new work place, I was upset because I had to leave my friends, the time spent with them, that lunch (specially English breakfast at Savoys that to at lunch time :-)), that fun at work, those chat conversations, pulling each others leg, deciding everyday who will cook and bring lunch tomorrow, those sudden coffee plans, those not so required small small breaks, asking each other if they have anything to eat even after having so much food at lunch, those shopping breaks in work hours, sudden hangout plans after work, those swimming sessions, those walk back to home together and so many endless crazy things....

I had a feeling that I will never like this new place because my friends are not there, but slowly I have started to like this place. Rather than saying liking I prefer to put it as I have started to adjusting with this new place. and thanks to my new smart phone who is accompanying me and helping me get connected to my friends in all the possible ways. :-) and I feel its human nature... that slowly we start adjusting to new environment or new place. Same is happening with me I guess. I am liking people here...they give happy and positive feeling which is very important for a good working environment. I never know when it will time to leave this place after 6 months I might not want to leave and I feel sad about leaving... :-) ..anything that becomes the habit is bad...but we are human eventually we will get used to things... with difficulties or easily but we just can't help it.... :-)

“A person can get used to anything if given enough time”

― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Living up to others Expectations...

Yesterday, i was thinking whether I should expect anything from friends or some close people around me? 
and today i am thinking how much we should allow others to expect from us? 

But when does expectation comes in picture.. 

When one person is giving that comfortableness to other ..??
When other person is doing somethings for us and expecting in return..??
When people take each other for granted and think that why not he / she should be doing this for me..??
So many situations.. so many questions.... but are these the actual reasons behind people's expectation...????

I feel WE are only responsible if others are expecting from us... we have given them that space, that comfortableness, that right to expect from us....
So decide....
whom you want to give how much space in your life...
whom you want to give that extra comfortableness...
whom you want to give those rights to take you for granted....
and whom you are really answerable to....

This differentiation is necessary in our life... or else we will end up answering others questions and fulfilling others expectations (when we are not even comfortable doing it...or sometimes don't want to do it or ideally we should not do it or may be those questions or expectations are false....or may be expectations are high...???) 

It doesn't mean distant yourself from people or stop doing things or caring for them but there has to be a line drawn... where different people can be distinguished....and thats why sometimes it is necessary to maintain that safe distance with people so that we don't end up hurting others by not fulfilling their expectations and ourselves by thinking why do this person is expecting so much from me..  

Because at the end all these leads to frustration and anger... which is not good in any sense...

So rather than expecting from others and getting hurt .... its better to expect from our self only... 

Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. 
-Leo Buscaglia 

People and their Expectations

In our day to day life, we meet lots of people. Some of them continues to walk with us till some extent, some vanishes and some people becomes a necessary part of our life. and then we end up becoming dependent on those people that we don't even realize what if these people won't be around you some day? and slowly gradually people start expecting from each other.

Now here question arises how much to expect? what to expect? and should we really expect anything?

It is a human tendency to expect from others. In our routine life also we expect small small things from people who are not even in our closet circle. But when they don't behave or do things the way we want we will feel bad. Just because of our own expectations. and when same expectation is not fulfilled by a very close person we end up hurting our self. So why to expect and hurt yourself? The more we expect from others, the more we hurt ourselves only.

Do things for others if you really want to, but do not expect anything in return. You are doing anything for others to make them happy and mainly because it makes you happy (there is a hidden selfishness behind it.)

So bottom line is No EXPECTATIONS...No DISAPPOINTMENTS...
                          Do things and forget it .... n just see how much life becomes simpler to live.... :-)