The Little Mermaid....

There was a princess of that fairy tale world where everything used to be so beautiful and good... That innocence in her used to make her think all the people around her are so nice... and She loves them all...Everyone loved her and pampered her like a beautiful princess...who was cute, innocent, loving, caring, believed in giving and sharing, who was pampered but still her feet were on ground, who was beautiful yet unaware of her outer and inner beauty... Everything she wished was fulfilled... Always protected, taken care by others... and who had never seen the reality of this world....LIFE was beautiful for her...

Princess grew up. She found a Prince Charming... But her parents were not ready for her to marry him. She didn't listen to them and she married prince against her parents wish. They started to live happily. Princess used to think... as now I have found man of my dream and married him it is going to be a Life like "They lived happily ever after..." and absolutely unaware of the storm coming towards her life.... And there was a day she realized her prince doesn't think that she is his Princess any more.. 

All of sudden Princess was the most ugliest looking girl on this earth for the Prince. He was ashamed of her, he hated everything about her.  He found all the possible flaws in her and started to yell at her for small small things... Prince had found some other princess and princess was left all alone. Princess tried her lever best to get their life back on track. But nothing was working. Days passed Prince's behavior started to changed, he became abusive with her, still she was tolerating everything as she had a hope that someday he will change. Her LOVE will change him... She spent years and years waiting for him to change. Tried doing all those things on this earth to make him happy, to make him fall in love with her again. But all her efforts were in vain.... she was dishearten... 

She used cry to her bed... she couldn't tell anyone the bad behavior of Prince. For her it was a matter Prince's image. She tried to maintain his image and bared all the pain he was giving her. (She was a fool)...

She used to look at god and ask .. "Why me God???... I have never done any bad to anyone in my entire life... then why ME....???" But she never got answer..... Slowly with time, she stopped crying and started to become a strong person... She was able to take care of her... She was becoming bold to handle situation and people around her...She worked hard to gain her confidence back...She stood for her... She was determined... she wanted to survive....

And one day she decided she does not want to take all this pain any more... and she left Prince...

Now, she was a new strong, confident, determined, smart, beautiful princess who was living her life on her terms.... with happiness which she used to find in small small things around her... She thought now she will be able to live her life happily, she had enough suffering in her past... She was positive and open about life. Accepting the way it comes. Giving tough time to challenges, she was moving forward....like there is not tomorrow....

But life wasn't easy for her... She knew she has to start a life from scratch and she was positive and open towards life.... with "TRY ME..." attitude... People around her started to look at her in different way... because she left her Prince... she was no more a normal Princess like others.... People talked all the possible bad things about her...Women bitched about her (may be in jealousy.) and Men did all the possible things a loser can do... But all these thing didn't affect her and rather makes her more strong and positive towards life... She though that God wants her to become more stronger. She was yet to learn her lessons...She was still smiling......

This princess.... standing strong, motivated, positive about life, determined....wants to tell all those people who talks about her that... 

"You have not lived my LIFE... and it is very easy to talk about others or gossip... When you are actually in the situation.. you are truly tested.... And I am tested.... I have gone through all those things which no one could have even imagined... And I wish that all those people who talk about me never gets into a situation where they have to suffer the way I had...

Don't Judge me by my Past... know me and then TALK...Your talks doesn't affect me but it makes me smile and I think ..."Wow, people have so much time to think and discuss about me... I should feel like a celebrity... People will talk about celebrities... good or bad... but they are FAMOUS..." So here, I thank god for making me ME... making me a CELEBRITY... :-)"

Sister Friend, Friend Sister... :-)

I am walking on wood street, heading towards home and thinking how it is going to be when I reach home. Our home without YOU. It is not that you have always been at home when I reached but I knew that in time you will be home. But today things are different, you have left this place and on your way to India. I know you don't want to go but even I don't want you to go but somethings are just not in our hands.

When I entered home, I smiled by looking at kitchen platform. I know how much you hate keeping kitchen dirty and you cleaned while leaving also. :-) But felt bad as in so much hurry you did all that stupid cleaning work. Entered further in dining area and saw your left luggage which made me little sad. As usual didn't feel like going to drawing room and directly went upstairs to our bedroom. It is the same place, everything is same at its usual place but your stuff is not there and you are not there. I am standing in the room  and thinking what to do? Shall I go down and eat something or shall I call any friend and talk? I do neither of it. I sat on the corner of the bed and played the song "Count on me", went near stairs and sat down. Looked downstairs, saw your birthday balloons and couldn't stop crying. The only thought in mind and heart why you are not here...

All the times spent together starts to run in front of me.. House is in such a mess but I don't feel like cleaning because I know even if I clean... you will be not come to see the surprise of cleaned house. I need to set my wardrobe but who will do it for me? Here I am sitting at my usual place and thinking of the time spent with you. How much you used to get irritated with my keyboard typing and you used to ask me "Suza please go downstairs and do it." And I used to keep on telling you just minutes and I will be done and I will spend hour sitting there, typing and irritating you... :-) I still remember the mornings when you used to play some irritating love songs and I used to feel like throwing away your laptop.. :-)

Lying in the bed and thinking of all those crazy photo session we used to do and planing of what to wear next day... Our crazy dress trials, that funny Hindi movie dance, those workouts in kitchen, that sudden wine and dine plans, that endless shopping spree, thinking of the same thing at a same time, deciding each others clothes, treating each other like baby and many more endless things we used to do together.....

I miss all...I miss your free ka tip... :-), I miss your scolding, I miss your pasta, I miss our beauty treatments, I miss that moment when we both want to tell other something but both are scared of each other that she will scold me.. :-)

The same house is looking so empty, quite, sad without you... I know I will get used to things and situation... But You will always be in my mind all the time... Loads of people are around me but no one fills the space of yours... My sister friend, friend sister.... :-)

Come back soon....!!!!

Live the moment...

At a time you will be in a very confusing state of mind.... you will not understand what exactly going on in your thoughts... Loads and loads of things running around your mind but you are constantly thinking about one particular thing, which makes you smile and makes you sad at a same time...

You really want to live that thought in real but you just stop yourself from living it.
Why???!!! ...
May be you are not sure if you want to live that thought?
May be you think that thought is just an illusion?
May be you are confused in your own thoughts?
Or probably you see pros and cons of that thought and stop yourself?
Or may be you are scared to live that thought?

Reason could be anything or all the things... But apart from all these reasons you just want to live this thought... You want to free yourself from everything... forget the illusion, confusion, pros and cons, assurance... and live it.... Live the thought, live the dream, live the every moment you have... if you start thinking about all these measurable / non-measurable reasons... you will be never able to live a life which makes you happy.... and stopping yourself from doing this will surely make others happy but what about your own happiness...??? I feel if a person is happy with himself / herself... he/she can make others more happy.....

A thought worth thinking.... I don't say don't think about anything or anyone and do what you want to..??!!! But all I want to say is...

"LIVE the MOMENT you have right now with you... may be you don't get it ever again and at the end you just regret for not living that particular moment..."

Smile doesn't cost a thing... :-)

Every day I travel from Swindon to Reading and back from Reading to Swindon. Its a tiring (even if I am just sitting in the cab and doing nothing), boring 1 or 1 and half hours journey, depends on the traffic on motorway. 

Its not that I don't enjoy this daily one hour journey... I do... as in I do like watching change of weather, the nature around, the traffic, the people on their way to work, some talking over phone, some listening to music, some kinda lazy and sleepy... Sometimes I get to see Sun... that sun shine coming over in this chilly weather feels so good...I listen to my favorite music, chat a bit with friends, talk to mom....that makes me pass my time during the journey....

On some days journey is way to boring... I will not feel like looking at the beautiful nature or talking over phone, or listening to music or do any damn thing....

But every day when I reach to Main gate of Microsoft, there is a security guard standing at the gate.. checking all the vehicles and employees entering the gate. You will think what is so great about security standing and checking the people entering to Microsoft premises..??!!! But the best thing about this man is, despite from what kind of whether it is, its raining or snowing, its windy or sunny... if temperature is 1 degree or more than 25 degrees... He is standing there with the lovely smile on his face, great enthusiasm to welcome people and showing that thumbs up with that cute smile approving their entrance in the premises...

This really makes me smile every time I see him.. All that tiredness, laziness I have in the morning just vanishes... It is so impressive the way this security guard performs his role with all his heart and brain in to it. 

It is probably a small thing to see at but a very big thing to learn from..... This man makes me learn that keep smiling and without expecting or hoping to receive anything... give that beautiful smile to people because smile doesn't cost you any thing and it will rather make others smile for you. 

I hate to say Good Bye...

I feel every time I write something it always runs around people... Mostly people around me... What I am going to write is suggested by a friend... I mean I wanted to write but I was kinda blank... was not able to think what to write... it happens.. isn't it...?? :-)

The best phase of any relationship is when we meet people, when we have just started to know them. It's different... loads of curiosity to know the other person... it could be any person, a friend or someone who might like or love... and the moment you realize that there is something which is bonding us... we unknowingly become comfortable with that person who used to be a strange for us at some point of time...

But the worst phase is .... to apart from people... specially those whom we really love a lot....or people who are close to our heart... It is such a sad feeling when people are going away...at least I don't like it... There will be always hope to meet them again... but Good byes do make me really upset... I mean we become so used to people... they become such an important part of our life and then they just have to go away from us... and then you just keep on missing them....this is so unfair....

and it is time for me to say good bye to my "Sister Friend" ..."Friend Sister"... :-( I know I will be meeting her soon in few months... but the thought of she leaving makes me upset... I will be missing her so much..


Simply beautiful lines-
we meet to create memories
&
we depart to preserve them..
to meet & depart is way of life..
but to depart & meet is hope of life..

Thoughts running around...

Sometimes in life we meet few people, we might not even notice them. Somehow we definitely start knowing them in person but may be haven't even thought that those people can be so important in your life. Due to situations, circumstances and may be with little efforts from them makes you know them more and more. And some people we find different from others even if they have not caught your attention at first but sometimes their interesting talks, sense of humor, witty nature... gets you so involved with them and they start to become a part of your life without even realizing the fact where it is leading...

In a smallest duration such people will make so much impact in your life and they are inseparable without knowing. Time flies, things look so good, everything seems so rosy and happy... And sometimes misunderstandings, expectations, ego, anger and such other things come in between... And all of a sudden, all that nice time spent together goes in vain... Things become so complicated between two people that explaining it to each other seems absolutely impossible. And people find the easiest solution for such issues is just stay away from each other even if they don't want to... Why??.... because our human ego is so much bigger than any other thing in this world that it ruins any good relationship two beautiful people hold...

I don't know whatever I have written here makes any sense or not... but if ever anyone has come across such situation they will definitely understand what exactly I am trying to say... Time doesn't stop for anyone... Those people will continue living their life, but somewhere in mind and heart thought about other person keep wondering. Even if one doesn't want to think about other person... It is strange... may be both are thinking about each other but will not show or may be pretend to be so happy without each other... Even if they happen to meet each other somewhere...people will pretend like they don't know each other... 

We humans are so complicated in life... and we love being like this... because more than anything else for us complexities are more important.... :-)

Seeing yourself from others Eyes...

Every individual has one particular view about themselves... about what they are? how they are? their looks? their career? their achievements in life? Or what they are capable of? And many more such things...


According to me...there are various types of people...


one kinds are those who exactly know what they are, what are their achievements are, where they are heading, what they deserve... Perfectly confident people.....



Another kind is people who are over confident about things around them... Or believe in self praising... Self appraised and self claimed great people... :-)



And one more kind is those people who are good at many things, they have achieved quite a few things, have almost everything but still lacking in confidence about everything they have and will constantly deprive themselves...



Well i can probably write about different such people i have come across in my lifetime... But here i am writing about myself... Trying to know myself, find myself, understand myself... Too much of I, me and myself... Isn't it???... But i feel each individual should know, find and understand themselves...



I feel I used to fall into last category of people... Who lack in confidence...


It does happen that due to some incidents in life you tend to become less confident.... I just forget what you are... and tend to behave as per others... what they want you to be.... you just change... rather you become a puppet and act as per others.... dress up as per others... your actions are not yours. your words are not yours...you are not just yourself.... and you are lost somewhere in someone else's world....


And I had become something like that... though confident at work but at personal front I was absolutely living someone else's life.... I had started to feel that I am the most ugliest looking girl on the earth.. who is fat, not at all smart, can't even communicate well with others... lack in English communication, don't even know how to cook, no fashion sense... and which I surely wasn't... :-)


I had really lost myself.... tried plenty of things to change my look to make someone else happy... but it was just not happening.... and I met few people (my colleagues or rather my very good friends from my first organisation) who made me realize what I am... they initiated to get me back to the life... to help me understand my worth...


and then on wards I just don't know how... I have always met so many good people... I was kinda lucky in life (Of course I met bad people also.. but no use of remembering them.. )... I learnt to know myself.... they helped me know what am I really... small small gestures or lines from those special people made me realize what I am...


Some people had really made me feel that beauty doesn't come with your physical statistic or how fair you are or how well do you communicate and blah blah blah... It comes from your inner beauty... your beauty is enhanced when you are beautiful by heart...


This is to all of them who help me be ME.... I don't know how to show gratitude to them... some of them I am not even in touch with them (For whatsoever reasons...)... Thank you to all those good people who helped me remain strong... and thanks to all those bad people I met in life because of them I am what I am today....